"You don’t fall in love with someone because they are perfect. You fall in love with them because when you are with them, you don’t have to hide or feel ashamed of any aspect of who you are. You fall in love with them because they are right."
- Love is never perfect. It only makes sense. (via hidontbecreepy)
i hate when people say “you’ve barely touched your food” like what do you want me to do stroke it
but who were these non-existent fans that voted Derrick onto Team America in the first place
Artist Telmo Pieper Repaints His Own Childhood Drawings
everyone who likes coconut water is lying
Dresses are so nice they’re just tubes of fabric you can throw on with very little effort and when you wear one and people are like “oh wow you dressed up you look really nice” but it’s like
ah yes my disguise is working. you think i cared this morning
Christine: He called me Christine-city. Jenn-city, she was on season 14 and she did nothing.
Zach: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, CHRISTINE???!!!
How rape trials should go?
Lawyer: Did he rape her?
Witness: Yes, but she was drunk and passed out.
Lawyer: That's not what I asked. Did he rape her?
Witness: Yes, but she was wearin-
Lawyer: I didn't ask what she was wearing. Did he rape her?
Witness: Yes, but-
Lawyer: I didn't ask anything else. It's just a simple yes or no answer. Did he rape her?
Laywer: Yes, he raped her.
Rape is rape is rape, no matter the context.
i hate teachers who dont let u go to the bathroom because “too many people went already” like yea but none of those people were me and our bladders arent connected so just because they peed already doesnt mean i dont have to pee anymore
I like new friends because I can reuse old jokes